Wasn't the Milk Board doing this bit...

Long before Perez Hilton?

Sorry, Sarah Paulson...

It seems your moderate looks, bad comic timing and sibilant S's will have to find a new home on TV.

I, for one, can't wait!

Dannielynn's Suicide Countdown

16y:302d:4m:32s

Dear Hipsters,

Please stop seeing shitty movies ironically. They'll only make more of them.

Well, it worked for Natalie Portman.

"And I'm as pretty as she is.... Right?

...Y'all???"

Dear U.S. Mint,

Stop it. Just stop it.

Happy Valentine's Day

To all the happy couples out there.

Of all the things I could die without ever seeing...

This is number one on the list.

I still can't figure out...

Who the hot one is.

Ralph Nader:

Fucking Democrats up since 1996.

Anna Nicole Smith's death:

I blame TrimSpa.

Because Space Cowboys was already taken?

Who could've guessed a year ago...

Volkswagen would still be sticking with their "Un-Pimp My Ride" ad campaign today?

Comedy Theorem

30 Rock + Tina Fey > SNL - Tina Fey

Therefore, Tina Fey is at least somewhat awesome.

Thanks a lot, Oscars

Now I have to see THIS.

How did MadTV not do this stupid sketch?

What happened in the days following Princess Diana's death....to Elton John.

Kyra Sedgwick winning a Golden Globe for The Closer:

Further proof that foreign critics can't recognize a TERRIBLE Southern accent.

It's a lot better than you'd expect.

So who will be...

The third cartoon creator to die this month?

Why is "economy size" small in cars...

But big in candy?

People Paula says:

Worst Movie of 2006 - The Fountain

Most Overrated Movie of 2006 - The Queen

Weirdest Movie of 2006 - Pan's Labyrinth


Best Movie of 2006 - (God, I Hope I Haven't Seen It Yet...)

I wonder...

If there's a Coolio song in this one too.

Three things NOT to buy me for Christmas

A word to shudder to:

Oral.

Damn.

Where was this kid when I was in kindergarten?

Tara Conner: Smarter than she looks.

After all, can you name another Miss USA?

Dear Hollywood:

If you stop giving it awards, it might go away.

When you get food poisoning from Taco Bell...

How can you tell?

Michael Richards' Apology:

The hardest thing to watch on television since the alien birth on V.

Why do they say the character names so often on Friday Night Lights?

Hey Comedy Central,

What happened to Drawn Together's reality TV format???

People Paula says:

It's not that good.

Lovechild of 1992: Terence Trent D'Arby