Monday, October 06, 2008

People Paula Redux: Slutty Halloween Costumes

Slutty TAXI - I wonder where the Pakistani driver sits.
Slutty ROULETTE WHEEL - She definitely wants it to land on green.
Slutty MARTINI - Yes, those are pimentos.
Slutty FLAG - Unlike the U.S., Britain has no 'Respect for Flag' law. Yay!
Slutty CHERRY PIE - Just because it's a euphemism doesn't make it any less weird.
Slutty DOCTOR - No glass ceiling in this HOspital!
Slutty BRIDE - Because men love a hooker who's ready for commitment.
Slutty NUN - Something about this honestly doesn't seem right.
Slutty CEO - Well it is a three-piece suit.
Slutty PSYCHO - Or, if you live in L.A., 'struggling actress.'
Slutty PIMP - I think she's confused about what a pimp does.
Slutty SAFARI GUIDE - Hasn't been the same since that cheetah got her nipples.
Slutty PIRATE - Hey matey, want a handjob from a blind chick with a hook?
Slutty JOCKEY - This one only appeals to deadbeat dads and mafiosos.
Slutty MARIACHI - Comes with hours of chest pain from 'shaking your maracas.'
Slutty ESKIMO - Calling them 'Eskimos' is racist, but this costume is no problem.
Slutty BOXER - Jab to the left boob! Uppercut to the right boob!

Slutty BARISTA - No, I do NOT want extra milk with that.
Slutty MARIE ANTOINETTE - Sexiest public beheading ever.
Slutty CARE BEAR - You should see what she does with her Care Bear Cousins.
Slutty TIN MAN - Oh, I get it: You shoot oil all over her & she becomes flexible.
Slutty HARRY POTTER - Oh, I.... Do NOT get it.
Slutty MAD HATTER - She's so asking to hear crappy lines about her 'rabbit hole.'
Slutty UNCLE SAM - She wants YOU to _____ .
Slutty CHEF - Waiter, there's a lot of hair in my soup.
Slutty SHERLOCK - So hot he'll forget you're a Victorian cokehead detective.
Slutty SCARECROW - You know, your average brainless barn whore.
Slutty BEE - Just make sure you bring a condom and an EpiPen.
Slutty PEACOCK - Especially strange that it's a male peacock in mating stance.
Slutty AVIATOR - Folks, that turbulence is your pilot taking it hard at the controls.
Slutty INDIAN – He'll pitch a tent while you desecrate an endangered culture.
Slutty SOLDIER - No wonder we're doing so crappy in Iraq.
Slutty CABLE INSTALLER - Soooo glad she took those classes at Slutty DeVry.
Slutty RAINBOW BRITE - All fun and games, until she tells you about Baby Brite.
Slutty BEEFEATER - Sounds kinky, but remember she's not allowed to move at all.


Courtenay said...

i'll let you know which one i choose.

in the meantime, here is a pertinent article

Fletcher Kauffman said...

Wow, Paula.. you were biz-zay!

Anonymous said...

Those were awesome. Sorry I missed them during Holloween!