Thursday, April 24, 2008

NBC to confirm Jimmy Fallon as Conan's replacement:

Jimmy Fallon & Carson Daly back-to-back every night?
At least I won't have to take those sleeping pills anymore.

Tuesday, April 22, 2008

Kristi Yamaguchi is perfect on Dancing With the Stars!!

So did everyone forget that she already won an Olympic gold medal for the exact same skill?

(Only back then, it was with 1/2" blades to balance on, a slippery sheet of ice to fall on, and the constant risk of severe head trauma to keep her one fart away from crapping through her nude pantyhose.)

Friday, April 18, 2008

The death of 'Monk' actor Stanley Kamel:

Really screws up that movie I was writing where Chris Kattan travels through time and battles his future self.

Wednesday, April 16, 2008

Transformers, Speed Racer & the new GI Joe movie:

Three reasons why you should never get a tattoo from your favorite childhood cartoon.

Monday, April 14, 2008

Sunday, April 13, 2008

Hey ABC, way to burn off "Miss Guided" in 3 weeks....

By the time people hear how fun and witty it is, it's off the air! BRILLIANT!

Monday, April 07, 2008

7th Heaven's Barry Watson finally got another role on TV:

Presumably by telling the casting agent at Samantha Who that he was Deadwood star Timothy Olyphant.

Saturday, April 05, 2008

MTV's "Rock the Cradle"

For singers who are so bad regular nepotism didn't work.

Thursday, April 03, 2008

With all due respect to 'pregnant man' Thomas Beatie....

Cutting off your breasts and taking testosterone - while leaving your female sexual & reproductive organs totally intact - does not a man make.

But I guess it's hard to book a media tour when you're just another pregnant lady with facial hair.

Wednesday, April 02, 2008

Miley Cyrus: Not Getting Any Cuter

Seems like a sweet kid and all, but I give her 5 years before she looks like the love child of Marty Feldman & Shelley Duvall.

Tuesday, April 01, 2008

The Best Movie of 2008: Adam Carolla's 'The Hammer'

No, this is not an April Fools' joke. That would be dumb.
Now Saran wrap over a toilet bowl: That's an April Fools' joke.