Saturday, December 31, 2005

People are going to be so sad when 2010 comes...

and they can't wear those glasses anymore.

Thursday, December 29, 2005

I wonder...

If Natasha Lyonne is still alive.

Tuesday, December 27, 2005

Since the Geico gecko has his own blog...

Why doesn't he use it to explain what happened to his voice & appearance?

Sunday, December 25, 2005

Academy Awards Prediction

Overexposed "It girl" Scarlett Johansson will win the kiss-of-death Best Supporting Actress Oscar.

Then Hollywood will fall out of the spell it's been under (and realize that her last great performance long predated those hypnotic boobs).

Thursday, December 22, 2005

Emily's Reasons Why Not

Reason #1: Heather Graham can't act.

Tuesday, December 20, 2005

"Two of the most ORIGINAL comedies on TV"

Judging from the commercials airing nightly, I'd say someone in NBC's promo department forgot to check the dictionary.

Monday, December 19, 2005

The Models from NBC's 'Deal or No Deal'

Like cakey lipstick on the
most boring pig ever.

Last night I rented 'Sky High' and 'Dukes of Hazzard'

Then I had a wet dream about a three-way with Kevin Heffernan & Lynda Carter.

Saturday, December 17, 2005

The Comedians of Comedy

3/4 of the funniest show on television...

(And Maria Bamford.)

Wednesday, December 14, 2005

Tuesday, December 13, 2005

Are Supermodels like Presidents?

Once you've been designated one, you hold the title forever...

No matter how old, wrinkly and insignificant you become?

Thursday, December 08, 2005

Beat That Horse, Lorne!

Let's see if Saturday Night Live can continue its killer streak - airing that Morgan Stanley parody in every single episode this season - without anyone giving a shit.

I'm Confused...

Are we supposed to assume that "Desperate Housewives" lawn boy Jesse Metcalfe is... not gay?

Tuesday, December 06, 2005

Teasing Her Way to the Bank

One simply asks filmgoers to pay to see her boobs on screen.

The other walks around topless, then rakes in cash by suing anyone who takes her picture. She's done it before and she'll do it again.

Strong game, Aniston.

Friday, December 02, 2005

Dear Toys 'R Us & Target:

No matter how hard you try to persuade me otherwise, I refuse to believe that Furbies are making a comeback.

Thursday, December 01, 2005

History's Greatest Marriage

After all these years, my prayers have finally been answered:

Introducing... MOUNTAIN DEW FILMS!