...who finds this a little Gattaca?
...who noticed that the phrase "to spread the sacred word of our Lord Jesus Christ the Almighty" somehow failed to appear ANYWHERE in the VeggieTales mission statement?
...who thinks an above-ground pool that's exactly the size of your brownstone's entire "backyard" is fucking ridiculous? And am I odd for not enjoying the fact that any and all splashing in said pool by neighbor children and dogs (actual quote: "But Mom, I didn't throw Buster in this time! He fell all by himself - I swear to God!") creates an instant downpour on my side of the fence? I mean, who wouldn't want a laptop chock full o' chlorine, right? Clearly, I'm the asshole here.