The First 10 Things Paris Hilton Will Say to the Warden:

1. "I'm Paris. You're nobody. Wanna write that down?"

2. "So how are my paparazzi supposed to get over that big, cutty fence?"

3. "Um, nobody can see my thong through this gross orange jumpsuit."

4. "And those sheets are what count?"

5. "What do you mean, fake hair isn't allowed?"

6. "How the hell am I supposed to do rails off that tiny sink?"

7. "Shit, I forgot to get a sitter for Tinkerbell! Oh well, I'm so over that dog anyway."

8. "I really need to screw."

9. "You wanna screw?"

10. "The zipper starts at the top."