Skinny, blond, British reality TV show co-hosts:

They're the new black.

Introducing People Paula's new website!!!

ThePaulaDixon.com

(Like PeoplePaula, only wordier.)

How can Disney pull Song of the South off the shelves....

And then make this?

A page from the new McConaughey baby book:

"Oh dear God, what have I done?! I can't turn back now!
All right, all right, all right...."

Worst bank name ever:

Three movies I can't believe they haven't made yet:

Any David Sedaris book.

The story of Artimus Pyle, the Lynyrd Skynyrd drummer who almost died in a plane crash that killed his bandmates, then got shot while seeking help. These days he's a child molester.

A real remake of WarGames.

A rare glimpse at what People Paula does when bored:

Television stardom: It's all fame and fortune....

Until your heart explodes.

Ebert & Roeper hand off to Ben Mankiewicz & Ben Lyons:

As At the Movies becomes At Home with Nepotism.

Recipe for Katy Perry's "I Kissed A Girl"

1 tbsp Emily Deschanel's face
1 cup Shania Twain's singing machine
5 quarts Jill Sobule's song from 13 years ago

People are so curious to find out if Heath Ledger's ex Michelle Williams will see The Dark Knight....

I just want to know if Katie Holmes will.

The Dept. of Defense brings you Military One Source:

How can they make everything BUT deodorant?

Get with it, Underarmour.

MTV Buzzin' stars Shwayze, Cisco & Cat:

Not to be confused with the more famous Swayze, Sisqo & cat:

Uh oh, the Cool Whip people finally found out about....

Reddi-wip.

NBC's new sitcom Kath & Kim:

Are we supposed to believe that Molly Shannon gave birth to Selma Blair when she was seven?

When is Amy Poehler going to star in....

The Beverly D'Angelo Story?

People Paula's prediction for every audience elimination round on Last Comic Standing:

They'll keep picking whoever's most like Dane Cook.

There's no way President Bush actually joked that he was "the world's biggest polluter" at the G8 Summit:

That guy would never miss the chance to say "pollutin'ist."

Hey, Tom Colicchio & Joel Stein:

The whole domestic couple thing in Time Magazine is lovely, but you're really testing the boundaries of my crushes on you.

Brangelina, Johnnifer & now Speidi?

Good lord, our "tabloid journalists" are getting lazy.

How are those Operation Smile ads OK with people?

Worst day ever for garbage men:

Congratulations, Jesse Helms....

Now Obama can actually become President over your dead body.