People Paula Crush of the Week: Cash Cab's Ben Bailey

He's funny, has huge hands, and can host a game show while driving a taxi. (You know what I'm talking about, ladies.)

The Office's Amy Ryan, also known as....

That lady from all those movies about people who've disappeared.

Someone should tell Nick Swardson....

That Eddie from Top Design is stealing his bit.

I wonder what it was like for Craig T. Nelson....

To act in this DirecTV commercial with a little girl who's been dead for 20 years.

Wendy's has a new slogan:

And I blame the ad wizards at HBO.

Why the hell aren't car bumpers....

Covered in rubber?

People Paula Observation of the Week:

David Caruso & George Clooney sound the exact same.

People Paula Redux: Slutty Halloween Costumes

Slutty TAXI - I wonder where the Pakistani driver sits.
Slutty ROULETTE WHEEL - She definitely wants it to land on green.
Slutty MARTINI - Yes, those are pimentos.
Slutty FLAG - Unlike the U.S., Britain has no 'Respect for Flag' law. Yay!
Slutty CHERRY PIE - Just because it's a euphemism doesn't make it any less weird.
Slutty DOCTOR - No glass ceiling in this HOspital!
Slutty BRIDE - Because men love a hooker who's ready for commitment.
Slutty NUN - Something about this honestly doesn't seem right.
Slutty CEO - Well it is a three-piece suit.
Slutty PSYCHO - Or, if you live in L.A., 'struggling actress.'
Slutty PIMP - I think she's confused about what a pimp does.
Slutty SAFARI GUIDE - Hasn't been the same since that cheetah got her nipples.
Slutty PIRATE - Hey matey, want a handjob from a blind chick with a hook?
Slutty JOCKEY - This one only appeals to deadbeat dads and mafiosos.
Slutty MARIACHI - Comes with hours of chest pain from 'shaking your maracas.'
Slutty ESKIMO - Calling them 'Eskimos' is racist, but this costume is no problem.
Slutty BOXER - Jab to the left boob! Uppercut to the right boob!

Slutty BARISTA - No, I do NOT want extra milk with that.
Slutty MARIE ANTOINETTE - Sexiest public beheading ever.
Slutty CARE BEAR - You should see what she does with her Care Bear Cousins.
Slutty TIN MAN - Oh, I get it: You shoot oil all over her & she becomes flexible.
Slutty HARRY POTTER - Oh, I.... Do NOT get it.
Slutty MAD HATTER - She's so asking to hear crappy lines about her 'rabbit hole.'
Slutty UNCLE SAM - She wants YOU to _____ .
Slutty CHEF - Waiter, there's a lot of hair in my soup.
Slutty SHERLOCK - So hot he'll forget you're a Victorian cokehead detective.
Slutty SCARECROW - You know, your average brainless barn whore.
Slutty BEE - Just make sure you bring a condom and an EpiPen.
Slutty PEACOCK - Especially strange that it's a male peacock in mating stance.
Slutty AVIATOR - Folks, that turbulence is your pilot taking it hard at the controls.
Slutty INDIAN – He'll pitch a tent while you desecrate an endangered culture.
Slutty SOLDIER - No wonder we're doing so crappy in Iraq.
Slutty CABLE INSTALLER - Soooo glad she took those classes at Slutty DeVry.
Slutty RAINBOW BRITE - All fun and games, until she tells you about Baby Brite.
Slutty BEEFEATER - Sounds kinky, but remember she's not allowed to move at all.

Even firefighters rely on Duracell's new....

Cheapass battery.

That's not a debate....

This is a debate.