That MacGyver bit on SNL would've been funnier....

If Richard Dean Anderson had been halfway recognizable.

People Paula Crush of the Week: T. J. Holmes

Nice lips, voice like butter, big hands.... You know what I'm talking about, ladies. (And other CNN viewers who have a hard time getting it up for Wolf Blitzer anymore.)

Dear Siobhan Fallon,

Sometimes it's best for a character actor not to act like such a character.

They still have them on airplanes, but seriously....

Who the hell uses barf bags anymore??

What the 2009 SAG Awards proved:

Meryl Streep really is the greatest actress of our generation, since she pulled off looking that excited about a shitty SAG award.

Katie Holmes and her boobs are confused about what SAG stands for.

James Earl Jones is getting whiter with age.

Rapper Analogies: 50 Cent is to Sundance 2009....

As P. Diddy was to Cannes 2008.

Why "He's Just Not That Into You" is going to be lame:

1. It's directed by the guy who made The Beautician and the Beast and License to Wed.
2. It thinks MySpace is the new anything.
3. Scarlett Johansson is in it.

Dear Criminals,

Now is the perfect time to rob a gas station in D.C.

Malcolm Gladwell, Jon Glaser & Charlie Kaufman:

Do all overrated writers look the same?

Am I the only one...

Who finds these "Whopper Virgin" commercials a little anthropologically disturbing?