Hey 13-year-old girls who vote for American Idol....

Who do you like more: The cute, non-threatening guy who can't sing or the ugly, blind guy who also can't sing?

Is it weird that an intact mammoth skeleton was found...

On the same block as the La Brea Tar Pits?

The 5 songs played most often on Maryland radio:

Bryan Adams - Summer of '69
Don Henley - Boys of Summer
John Cougar - Jack and Diane
John Mellencamp - Small Town
John Cougar Mellencamp - Cherry Bomb

(Which are all pretty much the same song.)

I'll never eat an M&M....

Or look at Michael Strahan the same way again.

Worst guarantee ever:

If our crappy product doesn't work, we'll give you...
More of our crappy product!

The new Neutrogena Wave Vibrating Power Cleanser....

Because rubbing is so hard.

Am I the only one who could hear....

Bruce Springsteen's bones cracking during the Superbowl?