When I was a child, I smiled because I was happy....

Now I smile to hide the wrinkles I got from all that goddamn smiling.

An open letter to everyone I know born in December:

I'm sorry.

But with the holidays and all, it's really just too much to deal with your birthday too. You might want to consider moving it to one of the less eventful months, like March.

Sorry to get all political on you, but seriously guys:

About that whole ALTERNATIVE FUEL SOURCE thing....

Thanks, Wes Anderson....

PhilaWAREPragueIcago --- HollyYorkIzonaSouthofMARYLAND --- VIRGICaliMentoFlagAntonio

For featuring DELMARVA in your first 3 AT&T commercials!

I wonder if Hannah Montana's Miley Cyrus knows....

Just how insanely jealous her father is.

Maybe CSI's William Petersen oughta change his name...

Before he kills his wife too.

Baltimore news thinks all black guys are Barack Obama:

Atlanta Falcons defensive back Keion Carpenter interviewed on the WBAL evening news on Thursday, Nov. 15th.

Most surprisingly awesome audiobooks ever:

I'm sorry, did I miss the memo....

That explained the downside to alternative fuel sources?

Seal's single "Amazing" sounds like his old song "Crazy"

If "Cryin" is next, Aerosmith should definitely call their lawyer.

Computer Aging with Natalie Portman:

I'm pretty convinced that E! now stands for:

Emaciated! ... Extremely Underweight! ... EAT SOMETHING!!!!

Young Hollywood's Weirdest Hairlines: