If Thomas Jane and Anne Heche actually had children....

Do you think they'd look anything like their kids on Hung?

You Are Ells:

- No wonder Woody smokes so much pot.
- I'd love to think like Mitch Hedberg, but I'm just not into heroin.
- Artificial Intelligence: Scarier than the Saw movies.
- What's so wrong with Coal Black and de Sebben Dwarfs?
- Bookie, gimme 2 large on "The universe will stop expanding."
- I wonder what this adorable little girl looks like now.

Dear Huffington Post:

Could you please put more shit all over your site? Thanks.

Fine, I'll admit it:

Jimmy Fallon is actually getting better.

Holy God.

While my brain is on near-permanent vacation, please check out my twitter over there.

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Why do poor people on sitcoms....

Always have brand new clothes and furniture?

Clear Channel Song of the Week:

Dramarama's "Anything, Anything (I'll Give You)"

People Paula's Contribution to the Modern Lexicon:

BORNY (bohr-nee) adj.: bored + horny

As in: "Why did you sleep with that guy?"

"I don't know, guess I was just borny."

Pet Peeve of the Week:

People who say, "To make a long story short..."



And then tell the whole long-ass story anyway.

So you marry Ryan Adams & all of a sudden you're cool?

OK, Mandy Moore.

Is twitter the death of the blog?

Or just a repetitive stabbing to mine?

When you really think about it....

Hershey's Syrup doesn't even taste like chocolate.

The internet has really killed our ability to say....

"Whatever happened to...."

Isn't all of The Soup....

"Reality show clip time" now?

First Batman, now John Connor....

As another film icon is strapped with the worst speech impediment in show business.

Hey, Dance Flick....

You do know that Save the Last Dance came out more than 8 years ago, right?

Manny Ramirez:

Would've pegged him as more of a ganja type.

The refrain of Lady Gaga's "Poker Face"....

Is nothing but the "Come on, Barbie. Let's go party," line in Aqua's Barbie Girl.

Pet Peeve of the Week:

People who put their baby's photo as their profile picture on Facebook.

David Cook's Cancer Brother Dies:

Shit, the one season I don't watch....

I can't decide if Real Housewives of NYC's Jill Zarin....

Looks more like Debbie Gibson or Empty Nest's Dinah Manoff.

Is it just me....

Or have Liz Lemon's glasses been a little crooked in the past few episodes?

Best & Worst TV Casting of the Week:

Best: "Southland" (Ben McKenzie, Tom Everett Scott, Shawn Hatosy, Regina King)

Worst: "Grey Gardens" (Drew Barrymore & Jessica Lange)

Hey Real World....

Who the hell is this guy?

Dreamworks' Monsters vs. Aliens....

Seems an awful lot like Disney's Monsters Inc.