So apparently there are doctors who can say 'Aciphex' with a straight face, but I really don't see how:

NBC to confirm Jimmy Fallon as Conan's replacement:

Jimmy Fallon & Carson Daly back-to-back every night?
At least I won't have to take those sleeping pills anymore.

Kristi Yamaguchi is perfect on Dancing With the Stars!!

So did everyone forget that she already won an Olympic gold medal for the exact same skill?

(Only back then, it was with 1/2" blades to balance on, a slippery sheet of ice to fall on, and the constant risk of severe head trauma to keep her one fart away from crapping through her nude pantyhose.)

The death of 'Monk' actor Stanley Kamel:

Really screws up that movie I was writing where Chris Kattan travels through time and battles his future self.

Transformers, Speed Racer & the new GI Joe movie:

Three reasons why you should never get a tattoo from your favorite childhood cartoon.

I guess the only "talent" required to get on Gossip Girl....

Is having a ridiculously preppy name.

Hey ABC, way to burn off "Miss Guided" in 3 weeks....

By the time people hear how fun and witty it is, it's off the air! BRILLIANT!

7th Heaven's Barry Watson finally got another role on TV:

Presumably by telling the casting agent at Samantha Who that he was Deadwood star Timothy Olyphant.

I knew that one day Charlton Heston would die & I would feel bad about all the horrible things I've said about his support of David Duke & the NRA....

But it turns out I was wrong.

MTV's "Rock the Cradle"

For singers who are so bad regular nepotism didn't work.

With all due respect to 'pregnant man' Thomas Beatie....

Cutting off your breasts and taking testosterone - while leaving your female sexual & reproductive organs totally intact - does not a man make.

But I guess it's hard to book a media tour when you're just another pregnant lady with facial hair.

Miley Cyrus: Not Getting Any Cuter

Seems like a sweet kid and all, but I give her 5 years before she looks like the love child of Marty Feldman & Shelley Duvall.

The Best Movie of 2008: Adam Carolla's 'The Hammer'

No, this is not an April Fools' joke. That would be dumb.
Now Saran wrap over a toilet bowl: That's an April Fools' joke.