Julianne Moore sure loses her kids a lot.

"Clap for her!"

I don't like Isaac telling me what to do.

Local rumor has it...

The thing attached here to David Gest went to my high school, until she got kicked out for shoplifting from the Giant food store.

Best Botox-Induced Impression of a Real Celebrity:

Sarah Michelle Gellar as Nicole Kidman

Best Picture Nominees: They don't make 'em like they used to.

Forest Whitaker

Hasn't aged a day in 25 years.

Snubbed by Oscar!

Admitting you have disgusting acne.

It's the new black.

You might like this:

If you like shots of Philadelphia.

Introducing the New Joey Lawrence...

(Identifiable only by voice.)

And Older Gyllenhaals look like Older Picassos:

Gyllenhaals look like Picassos:

Formerly hunky host Trebek lost his mustache forever and the questions got far too difficult for me.

What is, "How did Ken Jennings ruin Jeopardy?"

Cough it up, Tara Reid*

*It: that tar-covered hairball you've been hacking on for 10 years.

Saturday Night Live:

The modern publicist's catchall.

Little known fact about Bob Barker:

He's 6 years older than Dick Clark.

Still too soon?

12/16/05
John Spencer Heart Explosion

If people love Scarlett Johansson so much...

Why doesn't anyone go to her movies?

Dear NBC,

It would cost a lot less to air this:

than Last Call with Carson Daly.

If Fox wants 'Grandma's Boy' to make any money,

why keep these cameos secret?